I've notice around me there are a lot of people who are quite negative and pretty harsh on themselves, this saddens me because we should be more loving and gentle on our souls. I was once in this place of negativity myself. Life was not a fairy tale for me and I didn't know anyone who had one. Everyone struggled in some form or another. I learned to look at the life as the glass being half full, when everyone around me saw things half empty. How did I do this? I really don't know. I believe through spirit guidance I was guided to see the positive in the situation and I became very aware of when I was not being uplifting. When I became sensitive to peoples energy, I started to notice the heaviness of being weighed down. I could literally feel my chest get heavy. It was a strange feeling at first because I thought I wasn't feeling well. If you have ever been in an area where humidity is high and hot, like Texas or florida, you know how it feels when I say "the air just felt heavy" that's what it feels like when I'm around people who are negative.
Negativity comes in all forms. Complaining, anger, jealously, unkind comments, depression, addictions.
These are all forms of negativity. I'm sure after you read this, you'll become more aware of those around you. Positive people tend to be very uplifting, they smile a lot and their laugh is genuine, most of all , they just seem to glow and this may lead you to feeling as if you are jealous or envious of them. If you find your annoyed by this, it's probably because you are the negative one and your energy clashes with theirs. Same thing vis versa, is your are bothered by someone who complains it's because you sense on an energetic level that it is not good for you, so the annoying feeling, gives you reason to avoid these people.
If you find that you listen to complainers or you spend a lot of time with people who are depressed or jealous and you have a sympathetic ear, I highly recommend you avoid these situations because these people are draining you, literally. It's what we call psychic vampires. Negative people will attach themselves to people who are positive and drain their energy and they feed off your good vibes. By listening and being around these people you'll get headaches, depressed, and just feel drained by being exhausted or fatigued. Plain and simple.
So what can you do when you are trying to be Zen in an Unzen world?
You can't avoid negativity, it's just impossible. Especially when you're surrounded by it. First of all what is being Zen? Its being well balanced yourself. When we are balance our soul can align with our greater good and we will notice that our universe is not chaotic. Life is simple and we are happy. Being Unzen is not being in balance. Lack of balance you will notice, things in life just aren't going right and life just seems like it's a mess or you just can't get a break. Life just sucks. So how can you achieve the balance in a chaotic world – you have to change who you are and your perception of the world. Here spirit will offer guidance and many of you will take a lot of this to heart, some may only take a tip or two and for others – this will be just a bunch of bs. Either way, I will share this in hopes that it help those who need it.
Tip #1 : You are not a victim : Do not look at your life and think "why me, why does it always happen to me, why does nothing ever go right for me, me, me, me, me." This is the ego in you placing you in a position to feel helpless likes you're a victim. You're not. You have full control on your life and how you choose to address it. What you do with your life is in your full control. When life gives you lemons, you can choose for it to be sour, or make lemonade.
Tip #2 : Become aware of those who are negative and avoid them when they are draining you. You can't cut people out of your life just because they are weighing you down. What you can do is choose what you will allow these people to do around you. If they complain, Don't offer them a sympathetic ear. What I have seen with many people is that the negativity comes from their family members. If you are in an explosive situation – walk away. Do not engage. If you are being attacked, simply walk away. If people are arguing, disengage. Plain and simple – no if's and's or buts. My sister use to be a huge complainer, love her to death but every time I was with her, she had some complaint to make. What did I do? Cut her off and tell her to move on and that I didn't want to talk to about it. What did this achieve? She became aware of when she was complaining and stopped. Not only did this make my life easier, she became a brighter soul because she no longer spent her time being negative.
What do you do if you can't avoid it. On a mental level do not get emotionally involved. Shut the person off if you have to. It's not being selfish, it's doing what's best for your spirit. You want to be gentle with your soul. If you work in a negative environment, spend as little time as possible with negative people and when you have to be around them, either bring up uplifting conversation or mentally space out. I work where there is a lot of women, lots of competition and jealousy. The people are great but they have negative habits, so I only engage when I need to. When we go for lunch's we talk about good things and if I find a group of people complaining, I'll pull out my phone and space out. I don't engage.
Tip #3 work on your self. If you are feeling unzen –simply take a time out, breath and re-center yourself. When I first started working on being more zen, I would literally remove my self from the situation, take a time out and chant "with love and light that is my truth." On days where I felt so much anger it borderlined hatred, I would pray that the angels come and help me. I ask they take away this anger, this anger is not mine. I knew the feelings I felt, where not me- this negativity I picked up, it came from somewhere else and I asked for it to be removed. Remember that anger is not you – your soul is not an angry one. How many times have you gotten angry and would later look back and think what was wrong with you and blame yourself? Do not blame yourself. Simply let it go and move on. Some will ask, what if someone did you wrong and you just can't forgive them . My advice, it will be in your best interested and the vital part of your soul to learn forgiveness. Holding onto grudges and resentments really saddens one spirit because it is not a natural state for your higher self to be around such negativity.
Tip#4 Work on a list of gratitude to help you remain focus. It is very difficult and almost impossible to feel hopeless when you focus on the good in your life; You just can't do it. Don't believe me? Try it. When you are feeling like life sucks, or is unfair – look around you and focus on your blessings. If you can't find any blessings, be grateful you are alive. Things can always be worst. If you find you just cant do this, fake it. Fake it til you make it. If you tell you self so many times how lucky you are , how happy you are, eventually it'll become your reality. The trick here is to feel it, know it, believe it and envision it.
Tip #5 how to handle life when you are being attacked. Ever feel like people are out to get you, or they just don't like you? How do you handle this, what can you do? Honestly, you shut them off energetically and kill them with kindness. You never want to reciprocate their negativity with more negativity. These include unkind thoughts about yourself, such as they don't like me.
If you feel as if someone is out to get you, wish them the best and move on. The more negativity they shoot your way, the more blessings you send them. You have to remember that people who act negative in this manner, are living very chaotic lives themselves and so they reflect this on to others and blame others. Misery loves company. So what do you do ? You become aware of this and know that you are not a victim even though they are attacking you. You wish them the best and move on. That is the secret – DO NOT TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY
Never take home any concerns or worries. If you find your are consumed with worry about these people, its because they have attached them self to you energically and are draining you, psychic vampires as I have mentioned. If you wish to know more about this, I will write a blog on psychic vampires in the next few weeks. If you are one of those people who cant seem to shut off work – I would advise you to re-evaluate the people you work with and ask their energy to cleared from you. You spirit will guide you when you need help, you just need to learn to listen to that little voice.
Tip #6 don't focus on bad news, The media is notorious for sharing bad news. I do not watch the news. I feel guilty that I am not more aware of the things going on in the world, but I find that watching the news really weighs me down and so I choose to not watch it. Overall this has been a great choice for me.
Our egos will have a voice of victimization, negativity or blame. You inner truth, your high self will speak to you in kind and loving ways. It will advise you in a positive way. If you find that you are hearing unkind things, simply ask your ego to go to bed so you can focus on your high self. If you are feeling unzen, put your ego to bed and ask for your high self to bring balance to your life. It may take some time for you to incorporate these tips, but I assure you that with time and patience, you will be able to be zen in this unzen world.
