LEARNING TO MOURN

LEARNING TO MOURN

         EARLIER THIS MONTH I ATTENDED A FUNERAL FOR AN OLD FRIEND OF MINE. I HADN'T SEEN HER IN YEARS BUT WHEN I HEARD OF THE NEWS OF HER PASSING, I WAS COMPLETELY HEART BROKEN BECAUSE SHE WAS SUCH AN AMAZING PERSON.

        I'VE HAD MANY LOSSES THROUGH OUT THE YEARS AND DEATH IS NOTHING NEW. A FEW YEARS AGO I LOST MY BELOVED DOG REMY AND IT BROKE MY HEART TERRIBLY. SINCE THEN, I THINK I'VE BECOME NUMB TO DEATH AND THE PASSING OF LOVED ONES. THIS LOST OF MY FRIEND I THINK IN A WAY, BECAME A MOMENT IN MY LIFE WHERE AWAKENING HAPPENED.

           I STARTED TO REFLECT ON THE LOST OF FRIENDSHIPS I'VE HAD OVER THE YEARS AND IT MADE ME REALIZE HOW PRECIOUS EVERY INTERACTION IS. PEOPLE COME INTO OUR LIVES FOR A REASON AND THEY ARE MEANT TO BE THERE FOR US JUST AS MUCH AS WE ARE SUPPOSE TO BE THERE FOR THEM.

            I HADN'T SEEN MY FRIEND SINCE HIGH SCHOOL, WHICH WAS OVER A DECADE AGO AND YET WHEN THE NEWS OF  HER PASSING CAME TO MY EARS, I CRIED. I HAD TEARS OF SADNESS AT THE LOST OF SUCH A WONDERFUL SOUL AND THE GUILT OF ME LOOSING CONTACT WITH HER. I REALLY SHOULD OF REACH OUT AND MADE AT ATTEMPT ALL THESE YEARS.

        THE CRAZY PART IS I'VE HAD FAMILY MEMBERS PASS IN THE LAST FEW YEARS AND THOSE DIDN'T DEVASTATE ME. WHAT HAS CHANGED?

         I THINK I'M GROWING UP. I THINK WITH TIME AND EXPERIENCE AND LIFE, I'M LEARNING HOW VALUABLE EVERY MOMENT IS AND I'M LEARNING TO MOURN. I GREW UP IN A FAMILY WHERE WE DIDN'T DEAL WITH OUR EMOTIONS. WE SHUT THEM OFF AND WE MOVE ON, WE NEVER TALK ABOUT  IT. HAVING TWO YOUNG SOULS TO RAISE MYSELF, I WANT MY CHILDREN TO GROW UP EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY AND SO I'VE  BEEN WORKING ON MYSELF AND HELPING THEM LEARN COPING SKILLS SO THAT THEY BECOME GOOD HEALTHY, EMOTIONALLY FUNCTIONAL HUMAN BEINGS.

        LEARNING TO MOURN IS SOMETHING THAT HAS TO BE LEARNED,  WE AREN'T BORN WITH THIS INNATE SKILL ON HOW TO DEAL WITH DEATH, WE LEARN HOW TO COPE FROM OUR PARENTS, FRIENDS AND ENVIRONMENT. WHEN YOU DON'T LEARN THESE SKILLS AS A KID, YOU GROW UP EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE.  IN MY OPINION , ITS UNHEALTHY BECAUSE YOU CAN'T PROCESS THE TRAUMA SO IT SITS AND FESTERS AND BECOMES BAD HABITS.

          THE TRAUMA THAT FORMS TURNS INTO BEHAVIORS THAT ARE UNWANTED. YOU DON'T KNOW IT RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT, BUT ALL THOSE BAD HABITS THAT YOU HAVE, ARE A ROOT OF SOMETHING DEEPER. AS I REALIZED THIS, IT MADE ME WANT TO CHANGE. I GOT TIRED OF BEING TIRED SO I MADE IT A GOAL  RECENTLY TO GO TO THE GYM. DURING MY WORK OUTS NOT ONLY AM I BURNING CALORIES AND ENERGY- IT BECOMES A WORKING MEDIATION FOR ME, I START TO WORK OUT OLD SHIT THAT IS FESTERING IN ME THAT I NEVER DEALT WITH.

MY LEARNING TO MOURN, HAS BEGAN MY PROCESS OF HEALING. 

The Magician is within us

The Magician is within us

                The Fool leaves home and journeys into the world of unknown, he carries all his belongings in a bag that is wrapped tightly. As he walks away he forgets what he is to do with these items. On his journey he comes across the Magician. The Magician reminds him that he has everything he needs to manifest his destiny and takes his bag and opens it up. He lays out 4 items before the fool, these are the four of elements that we use to manipulate energy and it’s how we create magic.

                With this wand you will create

                With this cup you follow your heart        

                With this sword you will speak with ambition and clarity

                With this pentacle you will have what you need

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                I read this story once upon a time, it’s a great story and it has stuck with me all these years. It taught me to look at the magician card in a position of power. The magician when it arrives, shows me that we are the masters of our own destiny and we can create what we will. This does not mean that we can sit back and wait for the universe to grant our wishes.  We are not victims or bystanders in life, but active participants. The Magician teaches us that we have to work for what we want, if we want to manifest, we must master our trade and learn to manipulate energy. In each and every single one of us lays the tools we need. 

Mind – Swords - AIR

Body – Pentacles - EARTH

Spirit- wands - FIRE

Soul- Cups - WATER

When you find yourself coming across the Magician in a reading, he arrives to remind you that you are on the right path. Whatever it is that you wish to manifest is within your reach. This does not mean you can relax and wait for the pieces to fall into place. The magician is a worker, he practices and applies what he knows to create “magic”, and he never stops.

He is diligent student, a master of his trade.

He is powerful as depicted with his pose, one hand pointing up to the universe, the other pointing down to the ground – the sign for “ as above and so below”  He is showing you that you can take the energy of the universe to empower yourself so you can manifest here on earth, in the same token, you are able to draw energy from the earth plane to create magic in the universe.  The infinity sign over his head reminds us that energy flows where energy goes.

When you look around this card, you can find that he is surrounded by flowers in full bloom. This shows you that your hard work will one day come to fruition.  If you find yourself doubting the process, just look at the flowers and remind yourself that everything takes time. In the fall you plant the seeds and come spring they will bloom. In between it is important that you water your garden and pull weeds so that you can have a wonderful garden come blooming time.  It takes work and time, you cannot rush the process. Just because you don’t see the final products of your hard work right now, doesn’t mean it will never come.

Be patience, the Magician is here to remind you that your goals, hopes and dreams are within your reach and a part of your destiny.

The magician is number 1. Numerologically  the number one signifies a new chapter, a brand new start and the energy of a leader.  Number one brings Success. The one energy is full of assertiveness and commanding. When you feel the power of the magician with in the seat of your soul, you feel this nudge that pushes you forward. It gives you that boost of confidence you need. It is here to empower you. 

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The Fool’s Journey

Every tarot reader has sometime in their learning has heard about the fools journey and how he starts his life by meeting different people and learning new lessons along the way – each of these events are depicted by the cards in the Major Arcana. My story today isn’t about how that story unfolds, if you’re interested in learning that story; that will be a topic for another day.

                Today is about how my experiences over a decade have unfolded the Fool in me and how I see the fool today. The journey and its revelations have evolved for me with time, practice and application. The more I work with the fool, the more I find myself learning. It never truly ends- the growth of learning. So how did I see the fool in my earlier years? When I first started learning tarot this card was very basic for me- “ It foretells a new journey, a new chapter, a new start. “ Over a decade later, now when I see the fool, I see possibilities, I see choices, I see the message to have faith.

To the core of this card :

-          Childhood like innocence- This energy is of one who has not been tainted by life’s hardship.  Those who pull this card will find that despite what is happening in their lives, they have faith that everything will be ok- they don’t expect bad things. Even if life is rough, there is this part of them that just feels “ it will be ok, tomorrow is a new day.”

-          Optimism- this card brings optimism. We are full of life and full of creative energy. We are excited and happy as can be. Whatever the situation is that brings about this reading is a positive one as it shows we have great energy. Life’s cup is half full.

-          Be open, Have faith- look at his body language- see how he opens his arms to the world as if to say “ HELLO WORLD!”

-          That little dog – what is he doing and why is he there? Is he joyous and excited to tread this journey with the fool? Or is he trying to warn the fool to watch where he is going because he is about to walk off a cliff? The dog is a symbol of our egos – it can either be a voice of reason or he can be our fears barking. How can you tell which one? How does it make you feel when you focus on this dog? Does he feel friendly, or scared?

-          Bright Yellow Card- Enlightenment, Optimism and Hope. I work a lot with the chakras and for me, this card reminds of the Solar Plexus- the seat of our power. To me, this is a very powerful card simply due to the sheer fact that there is so much energy- it’s as if to say “the fool may be foolish because he has much to learn but he is very powerful.

This card reminds me at the start of my tarot journey. I knew nothing. I remember thinking “my god, how will I ever learn all 78 cards?” Despite my fears and doubt I continued my studies. This card reminds me of how I had so much to learn. Over a decade ago I was foolish indeed. My understanding and interpretation of the tarot is very different today- it is much more evolved. I truly believe that the knowledge has always been there and I just had to take that leap of faith and jump off a cliff to expand my horizon. I took this power that was with in me, it’s within us all, and I took a leap of faith. I made a choice. The fool reminds us that we can choose to walk the path and focus on opening our arms to the great things out there or we can live in fear and do nothing.  Yes there are dangers ahead, we may walk off a cliff, but so what! Who knows what is on the other side?

How can this fool apply to you?

I believe everything happens for a reason and if you’re reading this now, you’re probably being called to evaluate your life- use the fool to help you proceed.  There are no accidents or coincidences.  See this card as opening a door to new opportunities and experiences. It arrives to signify that we are about to embark on a new journey or if you’re feeling stuck, it is encouraging you to have faith, leave what you know behind and start a new path.

                 

How to apply the power of the FOOL:

                This card reminds you that you are a powerful being and that you can control your life. Life doesn’t happen to you- you make it happen. By being proactive and making conscious choices to lead the life you want to live, you are tapping into the power of this card. The fool enters the world full of life and optimism. He doesn’t allow fear to hold him back, he just trust that the path is correct and he keeps going, even if he falls off a cliff he cannot see. The fool’s energy brings you opportunities and possibilities. Look how he opens his arms; SKIES THE LIMIT.

 His message for you “have faith and trust the journey or live in fear, the choice is yours”

Heed the Fools warning:

                Do things that feel good, don’t make choices out of fear. If it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it.  Cautioned yourself against your own arrogance, and don’t do things that are irresponsible.

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" Have faith and trust the journey

or Live in fear

the choice is yours" 

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enjoy my work? lets connect! find me at 

                                                               www.tarotbycyndee.com